mumbling before death

Im here with her, my mattress on the floor next to her hospital bed and I couldnt go back to sleep this morning. But the worst of it is that she is so very much afraid. Like a child, wide eyed and it was like she was soaking up the memories. This will relieve any dryness or irritation in the mouth, improve urine output, improve digestive functions, and relieve. Actively dying is the last stage of life prior to passing away. I wish I would have known that would be the last time that I would see her alive. Thank you for this site. I have never before heard of this. Although it may be difficult for loved ones to remain calm during this difficult time, it is best to do so. but there was literally less than 2 mths between their deaths. She told us a story that happened when she first had the reaction to the 1st chemo they did. I am walking a journey now with my husband of 50 years cancer and dementia. They may need frequent breaks even during personal care. She hasnt tolerated her chemotherapy, had one problem after another creating delays in continued treatment, and at this point, I feel deep in my heart that this meeting will be the beginning of the end. I really appreciate this page, and the posts of individuals like me who are either watching a family member die, or have watched them die. While they spend lavish amounts of money on web sites dripping with sympathy many of these companies are nothing more than a site that drop ships product. I had been out with her during the day; we did some errands, and she was tired in the evening. As you journey through this very difficult period in your life, I send you compassionate thoughts. clear-headed; she actually understands a great bit more than people realize because she prefers it that way. A complaint half suppressed, or uttered in a low, muttering voice. She couldnt respond back to me, but I could tell she was listening. His eyes would not close for some time. I appreciate you sharing your personal stories. 49206f6674656e206c696b6520746f20737065616b20696e207365656d696e676c792072616e646f6d206c65747465727320616e64206e756d626572732e, 1 Article; All Rights Reserved. Thank you so much for explaining about the final stages before death. acronyms written by our doctors the next time you can't understand what is on My niece just turned 9 and she has been in hospice care for two weeks now. She was released the following day with a prescription for morphine to help her breathing. You acted in good faith based on what you were told. Three years ago he was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic prostate cancer. a week ago my brother went to the hospital because he couldnt breathe, they said he had pnenomia and took fluid out of his lungs, he was sent home the next day, two days after that he did not look good so his wife took him to another hospital (because he did not want to go back to the other one because they were mean to him and actually dropped him because he cant get up by himself due to a stroke 5 yrs. my warm wishes and prayers go out to your family I recognize Im on a horrible journey and there is no right or wrong way to feel. Personally, my own beliefs in my own faith helped very much. The grief is different as it feels now as if Im mourning the couple and parents they were. Previously I posted that Mama did not want her kiddos to know, nor to be with her as she lay diing. She was gone. She loves Christ, too much to kill herself. I talked to a woman yesterday who came over to moms house. But people keep coming to this post in particular (326 comments) because they need to tell their stories, and in many if not most of them, people express some level of regret or guilt. Having survived breast cancer in 1988 via a lumpectomy and radiation treatments, she was determined never to go that route again. My stepmother died May 26th of 2012 and then he went back into the hospital May 30th. The information flow was very weak for my father, but then he chose not to go to hospice which was probably a bad decision but it was the info we had to work with that made us make that decision. Whilst she rallied, it was only partial. for everyone: I lost my beloved mom Lilly just 7 days before her birthday last Nov 20th, 2013 she died in my arms and I kissed her lips to catch her last breaths she had dementia, but the real part of her was still with her the last few monthsshe had death bed visiions (which everyone said was crazy) but somehow i believed the invisible people she was waving at and speaking to were real i buried mom on Nov 27th, her 97th birthday a few days later when i went to visit her the most beautiful red Hummingbird came to visit me.it flew right up above me head, moved backwards and side to side then flew around me another bird in the distance was looking for attention: only to move his chest from side to side and flapping his beautiful Bluejay wings. My own Mom was and I was glad to not have to be there when she passed. He had radiation, and we had hope. So I dont have a need to worry about or remove the 38. It literally made me giddy to see her reaction even as she was dying! She gradually stopped eating then stopped drinking . He eats and drinks sparingly, does not urinate as much, spends a lot more time in his room at the nursing home, tends to hold back on swallowing, his hands feel cold, he does have a gurgling sound when he dozes off on his bed. So, I would start by asking questions, finding out exactly what is going on, what he doctors are saying. MrsT. I couldnt make decision to let him go because It was my mothers decision to keep him live. The final 3 weeks approxx, he slept alot, and went downhill. Well they put a traech in also. I guess things get a little less painful each day, but then there are days that feel like a roller coaster..the low lows and then feeling ok (At the peak of the roller coaster). They operated and two days ago suggested she go to a local hospice. Suzanne. This shallow breathing has been going on a long time. Web. Family members should presume that the patient is listening to whatever they say. patient's health condition, prescription drugs they are to take, or medical I am thinking about you and your mom. The last few months she was in a rehabilitation center, and was released with congestive heart failure, and oxygen needed 100%. came to his memorial service. We had only placed my dad into a nursing home 1 year before. We can prepare ourselves for the loss, but I dont think anyone can be prepared to watch for hours, days, weeks, months. LESSON FIVE: I now know, anecdotally, that this is a sign that the process of dying has begun. But I would not have done anything different. She said I want to die and its time. Has 10 years experience. They removed it, and he was sent to a SNF in order to recover and regain his mobility. She had a total hysterectomy back in November for uterine cancer but was always talking about pain in different areas of her abdomen. So I try not to beat myself up too much. My father was waiting for my son to come home from college and did not pass until he saw him. She feared poverty, loneliness, hunger, illness, and certainly death. Change). she has even mentioned seeing my dad calling her who past 1 1/2 ago. She seemed so concerned about it that I almost got dressed to drive back downtown to the hospital, but ended up thinking, no Ill see him in the morning. The brain does weird stuff as it is dying. site yourself? She seems to be trying, but she cannot cross the finish line. All of this suspicion is just that suspicion. Once Saturday was here we received a call from the nursing home that she was no longer responsive to touches and voice. About two months ago, I noticed he had suddenly lost all energy, took long naps in a chair and became irritable. My cousen had hope that he would survive. I am in despair at what I wrought. Dr. Fenwick is a leading researcher in End-of-Life Experiences and their importance for the dying and the bereaved, a topic of interest to me. website. It is so hard to bear, and then listen to lies upon lies upon lies from the nursing home as to why shes constantly in bed, staring at the ceiling, every time we see her , Patti S. This is an excellent moment to pray or meditate. I popped home for a hot shower earlier today, almost expecting her to go once Id left but no, shes holding on for something I dont know what but I wish shed find her peace. My beautiful, kind, caring, and just all-around amazing aunt is dying of cancer. I cant cope either but someone has to. She had been in the hospital for nearly two weeks, now battling viral pneumoniabut her body just didnt have the strength to fight back this time. My heart goes out to all who have suffered through their loss. She often asks wheres Daddyshe called both her dad and my dad by that name,,so Im not sure who shes looking for. I too want to thank you for this blog and the post. Please do not beat yourself up if/when this happens. I was standing with my uncle when he came greeted me and my uncle than he apologised for mistaking my uncle for somebody else, than he asked permission to go!and apologised again. When we left there we kissed her and hugged her and told her that we loved her. Sarah . She must have been so frightened and no one even bothered to pick up her hand, and hold it while she passed. You are wise, I think, not to take on the burden of the decision alone. I had read everything I could about death and dying and although she was in a hospital, the staff allowed me to lie down next to her and hold her for hours. Thank you. Were a group of volunteers and opening a brand new scheme in our community. We have all said our goodbyes. The struggle was over. The main problem was boredom. Wow, thats what I was searching for, what a stuff! He was alive and flew back to USA and went home. Just a side note (Without you giving out too much personal info), I am always curious where in the world people are; I am in the Western part of Canada (There thats pretty generic : ) ) curious where you are? A treatment for sleep apnea. Mottling? To be expected. Catch22. I have wondered if these posts were of any help to anyone because although they are the most often read on my blog, I receive few comments. But my sister who I had been seeing nearly every day became a recluse for 3wks. Cant get hospice outits the weekend. Mum was poorly several months ago and we were told she may not live but she rallied round and only three weeks ago when I was last able to visit her she was laughing, I do not know what about but we laughed with her and she seemed happy. As the person becomes bedridden, you may also need to provide them with pads and diapers for urinary and bowel movements. And I think it is entirely normal to regret the squabbles after you lose someone. While his cancer care is palliative he is holding his own with the latest form of therapy. After this Regular doctor got in charge, they suggested pulling my parent off eye vi (IV); this was because the parent would be going into long term care, and IV was not an option there; what seemed to transpire after that was a rapid decline, concluding in us being told my parents bp was dropping etc and end was near; we got up to the hospital, and they asked us to leave the room to what I believe was to change my parenta/tend to them in a medical way which had been the way for the months my parent had been in hospital; then all of a sudden we were told this is it we think (or something like that)..and werushed back in and my parent was suffering it seemed (possibly a stroke or whatever) it was almost making me think after the fact that they had given him something to speed it along. Its just a gift when Im mumbling lyrics, and she is finishing my sentences. I feel as if I did everything wrong with my parents care and I dont get any do-overs. Within 4 days she left. btw he was off iv as they were going to move him to some kind of seniors facility and said he couldnt be on IV; I think that really caused him to spiral downward. They didnt give us a time for mom. Waiting for evening. You shouldnt have been put through that. Your posts have been very helpful, although I have already experienced this before with my father-in-law about 25 years ago. I just wish I could wake up now. I remember the hospice nurses saying it was a priviledge to be with someone when they died and God allow us to pick who will be with us at the time of our death.
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